Gayest Game: Enchanted Arms

As I mentioned in the Great Cheap Game: Culdcept post, I often look for cheap, old games I never tried. Like movies, so many games exist, I often miss some good ones.

I wish I had missed this bad one. I had seen Enchanted Arms for Xbox 360 and the PS3 quite cheap at my local Gamestop. It appeared a "classic" RPG (role-playing game) style. Hastings had it for rent. It looked good....until I played it.

Why So Bad?

First, it has horrible, weird dialogue. The acting sounds like one guy changing his voice. Second, the script babbles on with lame conversation.

Thirdly, it is SO gay. Not to offend my gay and lesbian friends. Not to revert to 13 yr. old dialogue. But, OMG gay....totally gay....Liberace gay. One character is actually gay, and has this weird flaming presence. It's rather offending and stereotypical. His spells look rediculous...as he plays his little saxophone and sings "Aaaagghh." Watch the movie below to give you some impression of this character.

Of all genres, I expect RPGs to have a story with well-developed characters. I may skip past some dialogue, but in general I watch, read, and get involved. I rented the worst game ever. I hope the writers and developers now work for Chuck E. Cheese.

Anything Good?

Well, I just couldn't play it for more than a few battles. But, I did get a damn good laugh out of it. Seriously, I had tears running down my face. Was it supposed to be this funny? Sort-of the same laugh I have with a really bad "B movie." Those movies we watched on Mystery Science Theatre 3000 look like Oscar material next to this game.

Your Worst Game?

We all have different tastes. That's what makes life very fun. I've disliked games for lag, gameplay, and difficulty. What is the worst game you ever played? Why was it SO bad?

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Great Cheap Game: Culdcept

Renting games to check them out works great. However, you can find many used games for cheap. Most rental places, Hastings, and Gamestop sell used games. You can find great games this way without dropping $60. I've found many for $10.

Sometimes, I find a gem. A cheap game with great replay ability. Culdcept Saga definitely fits this build. It's somewhat a cross between the Magic the Gathering card game and Monopoly. The single player teaches the game really well. The game has hours of replay with different decks to build and cards to collect.

You have a deck. This deck includes creatures, spells, and items (like swords and armor). In the versus mode, you may play with or against friends (online or offline) as well as characters from the storyline. You may play in allied teams.

Each Turn

The game determines player order randomly. You start with 5 cards.

1. You draw a card from your deck.
   
2. You may cast a spell.
3. You roll the dice to travel around the board.
4. You land on a square and may cast a creature card.

Creatures

If you land on an empty square, you may cast a creature card. If the square has an enemy creature, you may invade it. All creatures have strength (ST) and life called Hit Points (HP). Many also have special abilities.

Most creatures also have elements associated with them. Creatures may be associated with Wind: yellow, Fire: red, Water: blue, and Earth: green. Some creatures are colorless.



ex. The red Chimera creature has 30 strength (ST) and 50 Hit Points (HP). It Attacks First and gains 10 ST every time the user makes a lap.

Spells

You can also damage creatures, steal gold, draw cards, and do many other things with spell cards.
These cards can also add effects to you, your enemy, or creatures. The effect may be positive - like adding ST points. Or negative - like reducing HP points.


ex. The spell Brave Song adds 20 strength to all your creatures for four rounds.

Items

You can use these when you attack with creatures, or are being attacked. They include things that give ST like swords. Some items add to HP like armor. Other items have special abilities and may reflect damage, steal items, or neutralize damage.



ex. This sword item gives the Seismodon creature extra strength in battle.

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Offline Co-op not Left 4 Dead

The game Left 4 Dead is available on Xbox 360 and the PC. This game features 4 characters that shoot their way free through the "infected" zombies.

Offline Co-op
The offline co-op (or cooperative play) in this game makes it ideal for the thirtysomething gamer. Through a split-screen, you can shoot zombies with your husband, sister, or friends. Hell, it has friendly fire (you can shoot your teammates).

Although you need their help, shooting your husband by "accident" yields some sick giggles. The ultimate passive-aggressive fun. Read this Left 4 Dead co-op review for more game specifics.

The real enjoyment with offline co-op is you don't ignore the people around you. You both fight through the zombie hordes. You can set on the couch, munch, pause when you need to. And of course, the cries we all make when under attack. "Hunter has me! Help, help!" and "Sorry, that was me." This often follows your hubby shooting you in the head. *accident?*

You challenge each other. Can you get more headshots? *Yes, the heads explode. Zombie blood apparently has part napalm* Who does more damage? Who takes more damage?

Scary
And oh yes, Left 4 Dead is scary. The intro movie drops you into the horror immediately. Old Bill grumbles the great line, "Son, we just crossed the street." You're introduced to the pathetic crying of the witch, and what happens when you startle her. What does happen? Watch it below.

Left 4 Dead Intro

The whole game has the creepy feeling of a horror movie. The dark and seedy graphics transport you to an inflected world. You creep around in darkness, with only your flashlight to guide you.

Of course, more things scare. When many, many, MANY infected come running at you - adrenaline rushes through your body. If a boomer vomits on you, you shoot through the thick, putrid fog. You wildly shoot everything that moves. *sometimes this includes your teammates, as mentioned before.*

And the sound... The witch may cry, but the infected scream. The background noises feel like a haunted house. You hear the hunter, before he strangles anyone. You frantically search around for him. And the witches cries force you to turn off your flashlight and search through the dark.

Oh, the sound. It makes you want to turn off the lights.
You should.
I hear the witch's cries.

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Why Wii Rocks

My hubby waited for months for the Wii to be released. He waited in line. He waited in the cold. He was SO a Cartman about it. Was it worth it hype?

Oh, yeah. Every annoying text-message about it. We had played highly interactive games at Gameworks. We knew this was the future of gaming. This was the next step of the console revolution.

You ARE the Character
Video games place you in a role. Think of the language you use. "No, No, No, No!....damn, I died." Really? You? Yes, of course. Character customization let's you BE your character in many games. Always want to be a tall? Want to get rid of your bald spot? Want your name to be Thor the Magnificent?

And Beyond
The Wii now takes this immersion to the next level. Wii's even calls your avatar a Mii. Now the game mimics your actions. You wield the sword, swing the racket, and spin that hoola hoop. You interact with the game on a whole new level. Although there are extra accessories for the Wii. The balance board is the best one so far. The Wii-mote's versatility across all game genres rocks.

Console Wars
Xbox 360 charged ahead with the HDDVD player, pretty graphics, earlier release, and online gaming ($50/yr). PS3 has the Blue-Ray, is beautiful, but....it has a hefty price-tag. While Xbox and PS3 fought over the current "gamer," the Wii expanded the "gamer" definition. You can say the Wii won, but in fact, there was no competition. The sales have been enormous - it has outsold and won this generation of "console wars."The Wii focused on a different market.

Who Plays Wii?
Who can play these games? Ev-er-y-one. Ev-er-y-one? Ev-er-y-one. My mother-in-law and I were playing Wii Sports. My hubby came home, and was amazed. "I have never seen mom play a video game." That's what this console has achieved. So to Nintendo, I bow. You gave me fun, while the other consoles gave me beauty.

Play It, Buy It, Love It
Go play the Wii. Try it at Best Buy or Gamestop. Hell, just buy it. It's cheap and it's fun. You can play it for minutes or hours. You can play it with your mom and your kids. Don't believe me? Watch this Granny do a little samba in the video below.

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